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A winter storm hit the nation’s capital today; a storm which predictably has paralyzed the city.  With all of three inches of snow on the ground, roads were closed, cars were wrecked, people were stricken with sheer panic, and the supermarket shelves were stripped bare of the essentials (milk, eggs, toilet paper), in the event that nobody would be able to leave their house for the next three weeks.  Somehow I made it to and fro work - a feat that everyone can’t boast of - and on my home I reflected on this winter; my eighth in DC since I moved here in 2002.  The way I see it, DC winters can be summed-up by a rule that I call ‘The Four Inch Rule’, which can be applied in three ways.

1) If four inches of snow hits the ground, widespread panic ensues.  Round-the-clock news coverage of the conditions are warranted, and the cancellation of schools and the Federal government is a near certainty.  Essentially, if we’re expecting four inches, we’re expecting Armageddon.

2) After the snowfall is complete, regardless of the amount, you must add four inches to ‘what you got’.  I live in Alexandria, VA, and I’ll report an honest 3-4 inches of snow on the ground at the moment, though reports will surely show that someone in Alexandria got 7-8 inches of the fluffy stuff.  Somehow wherever I live, I get four inches less than everyone else I know in the area.

3) Finally, ‘The Four Inch Rule’ can be used as a multiplier.  Imagine the circumstances of 4-inch accumulation in the Northeast.  DC treats an inch-high dusting in the same manner.  One inch here equals four inches of snow well north of the Mason-Dixon line.  When we get three inches, you’d think we got a foot.  Six inches equates to a two-foot pounding in New England, while you can certainly understand now why the foot of snow that we got last month dealt a devastating blow across the region.  Just imagine what four feet of snow would do up north.

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Today my emotions were toyed with. I’m in the Garden State for the first time since MTV’s Jersey Shore captivated the nation, and to my great delight, rumor spread like wildfire this morning that the entire cast of the best show on television was going to attend tonight’s Wizards vs. Nets game at the Meadowlands. Could it be? At a game that featured more empty seats than actual bodies in attendance, was I really supposed to believe that America’s newest sweetheart (Sammy), and her Italian friends would grace the Izod Center? After I was asked to confirm the rumor by no fewer than four people, our Head Coach among them, I did some investigating. To my dismay I learned that the answer was ‘no’. In fact, they were supposed to attend the Nets’ last home game, but cancelled at the last minute. Vinny did attend a game earlier this season, and allegedly fist-pumped through an entire time-out while he was shown on the video scoreboard. This all brings me to my point: if there was ever any doubt which of Jersey Shore and The Biggest Loser is a bigger deal on television, ask yourself this…could The Biggest Loser’s obese Italian stallions, Maria and Michael, possibly have caused the same chaotic anticipation of their attendance at a game than the Jersey Shore kids did today? I think not.

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My trip to the NY/NJ area meant a night with old college friends.  To be more specific, this trip afforded me the opportunity to dine with some Dekes.  While I won’t get into details, rest assured that a dinner with Dekes never disappoints.  Thanks, fellas, for joining me…and for making it that much harder for me to wake up when my wake-up call comes in the morning.  I think I’m getting old.

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I don’t want to be too critical or political on this blog, so I’ll keep my commentary on tonight’s State of the Union address to a minimum. I just found it perplexing that our President said that he’s never been more hopeful about the future of America than he is tonight. While I’m always filled with hope in general, I’d wager a guess that most Americans were more hopeful about the future of this country when our 44th President made this same address last year. After a year in which very little of any consequence was accomplished in The White House, I’m not so sure we should all be more hopeful than ever tonight. That said, I’m glad he’s hopeful and I wish him luck. I’m just not sure that having lunch with Kobe Bryant and his family on the day after the rest of the Lakers visited The White House is the best way to inspire hope in everyone else. Maybe I’m alone with that thought, but I’d rather think that our leader is hard at work instead of dining with athletes that he just saw the day before.

Now on to something less serious, as interested as I was in tonight’s address, I couldn’t even make it to the first nauseating standing ovation before my distraction by Nancy Pelosi made me turn my head. Did anyone else notice how much she blinks? Wikipedia says that the average human blinks 10-16 times per minute. I guess I can now see why President Obama is so hopeful. He has a superhero sitting behind him to his left blinking (by my count) a superhuman 100 blinks per minute. This is truly must-see TV.

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There is a yearly phenomenon in DC that I like to call ‘The Lake Show’ - which shouldn’t be confused with ‘The Late Show’, but nevertheless shares the drama that has recently gripped late night television.  The Lake Show, however, occurs when the Los Angeles Lakers are in town, and a circus of media members, B-list celebrities, wannabes, hangers-on, and others of the like that appear at Verizon Center just once a year, grace us with their presence.  Tonight they came out en masse, stalking the Lakers with cell phone pictures and i-pod movies from the minute LA’s bus pulled into the arena until that same bus was out of sight as it left DC after the game.  The scene that particularly made me want to throw-up in my mouth took place in the Lakers locker room after the game, where a sea of people that had no business being anywhere in that vicinity found it convenient to ’stop by’ as Kobe Bryant and the other Lakers got dressed.  If the sight of gaggles of adults fawning over a half-naked grown man who is paid to put a ball in a hoop for a living doesn’t make you queasy, perhaps you belonged among the throngs tonight.  As for me, however, as much as I enjoy watching Kobe Bryant play, and can appreciate his greatness at what he does, I’m quite thrilled that it will be another year before the pathetic scene of nobodies trying to pretend like they’re somebodies descends upon my workplace again - or at least until LeBron visits town again.  Oh, and if you think for a minute that Tiger woods will never recover from his own recent shameful gaffes, think again.  The Lakers’ own #24 was once accused of far worse, but had the people of the most powerful city in the world eating out of his palms tonight.  What a society!

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It’s currently late January and college basketball season is in full swing.  To this point, despite a #4 ranking in the polls by my alma mater, I’ve been remiss to mention the Syracuse Orange.  However, after a big Monday win against arch rival Georgetown - in a game in which the Hoyas jumped out to an improbable 14-0 lead - the tenacious former Orangemen routed Georgetown, sending the beaten Hoyas back to DC talking about the February 18th rematch.  At that rematch, a game in which I’ll be there proudly, perhaps I’ll be watching the #1 team in all of the land.  That’s how I see it it anyway, and I’ll offer an early challenge to all comers in the second annual BrianSereno.com Ultimate Prognosticator Challenge in March.  Come one, come all…but don’t expect to wear the crown.

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This week we watched as two Italian couples were split up.  While MTV took it upon themselves to instigate a split between Ronnie and Sammi Sweetheart on the Jersey Shore Reunion Show, the big fat Italians on The Biggest Loser took it upon themselves to split up through good old fashion gluttony and sloth.  Like I did in Part I and Part II of these installments - Jersey Shore vs. The Biggest Loser - I am going to side again with my ‘guidos and guidettes’ on Jersey Shore for whom I most want to represent me.  Though Ronnie and Sammi Sweetheart’s public break-up and cat-fighting was pathetic, it paled in comparison to big fat Michael and Maria’s excuses.  Maria, who in her plea to the contestants to send her home instead of Michael, had the audacity to suggest that the other contestants are ‘going to kill’ her son.  No, Maria…fried food and mountains of desserts are going to kill your son.  The other ‘big fats’ are there to save themselves.  As for me, I’m still enjoying the news that negotiations are underway for Jersey Shore Season II.  Bring ‘em all back for more ‘guido’ fun!

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Goodbye, fake tree

I had a rare opportunity to rest and relax today, so despite my best intentions to be productive as well, rest and relaxation ultimately won out.  My lone act of productivity is pictured above, when I disposed of our small, fake Christmas tree.  Dubbed ‘The Little Stinker’ by Jessie, it served us well for the past five or six years, until its built-in lights failed this year.  As the tree was discarded, so too came down our Christmas decor.  A full month after Christmas passed, it seemed like it was about time we did so.  Next year we’ll have to invest in a new tree, or perhaps take our chances with a real one, but this small act today finally symbolized the end of the Christmas season for us.  Another very merry Christmas is now in the books.

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I caught a few glimpses today of a speech that President Obama gave during a town hall meeting somewhere in Ohio.  The speech, which sent the stock market plummeting, bothered me not just for the losses that piled up in 401K plans nationwide today, but because he referred to himself in the third person on multiple occasions.  I later found out that his third person references are becoming a habit, as he later ‘tweeted’ in the third person as well.  When an athlete refers to himself in the third person, I find it funny.  When a layman refers to themselves in the third person, I find it interesting.  Yet, when the POTUS refers to himself as Obama, I find it troubling.  Brian Sereno hopes he breaks himself of this habit quickly.

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Today I had the privilege of attending a memorial service/celebration of life for legendary broadcaster George Michael, who passed away on Christmas Eve when cancer claimed another life.  The end of George’s career coincided with the beginning of mine, so while I had the opportunity to meet and work with George on quite a few occasions, to say that I had a relationship with the man would be somewhat of a stretch.  I didn’t attend today because of a deep personal relationship that we had, but rather, I wanted to pay my respects to a man that left an indelible impression on me in other ways.

When I was younger, for one reason or another (though often due to my behavior), my parents would cancel our cable television package from time to time.  Denise and Chrissy were too young to care, while Cheryl was too busy, and since my parents grew up without cable TV themselves, they didn’t miss it.  I, however, did.  Well, while the nationally syndicated ‘George Michael Sports Machine’ is credited as being ‘SportsCenter before SportsCenter’, for me it was ‘SportsCenter instead of SportsCenter’.  I didn’t have ESPN, but NBC came in crystal clear.  That was my first introduction to George Michael.

As I grew up, and moved to the DC area, little did I know that George was a local icon as much as a national celebrity.  Like a handful of other broadcasters that came to fame first in DC before they hit the national scene, George was one of the media members that most captivated me when I began my career.  From who he hired (people that I remain quite close with), to the respect he demanded and the perfection that he required, George did things George’s way.  He had a magnetic way about him, as you’d either be pulled toward him or repelled away from him, depending on if you were the one that was subjected to his outlandish wrath.  Either way, in this town and wherever else George went, you always knew where George was.

While I was sitting in the National Cathedral today (an awe-inspiring structure, if you ever get a chance to step inside), my mind raced.  I thought about cancer eating away at life, about how George was so demanding but so well beloved, about the people that were drawn to today’s celebration (NFL Hall of Famers Art Monk, Sonny Jurgenson and Joe Gibbs, Coach John Thompson, and countless DC and national media types), but I mostly thought about something that NBC-4 anchorman Jim Vance said as he eulogized George.  ”George lived large,” said Vance.  To do anything but, I thought, would be to cheat the life we’ve all been given.

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