The Monday After Thanksgiving
Today, not the date but the day, is another one-year milestone for me. The Monday after Thanksgiving was the day on which we first met with the Duke researchers last year. After re-reading my entry from last December 1st, the Monday after Thanksgiving ‘08, it has struck me that I could have given an even better description of where my mind was at this point in time last year, although I tried my darnedest to do so at the time. I re-read my entry looking for a one particular quote which I’m sure I uttered on the Monday after Thanksgiving last year. After an exhausting day at Duke, where I was scared about Irinotecan and not quite convinced that ‘taking the torch’ from those before me to ‘pass it along to those that come next’ should be a motivating factor for me, I was dubbed ‘Freshness’ by my family. I was in a horrible mood, on the verge of a huge decision, and upset with what I perceived to be a lack of viable options. Simply put, I didn’t think there was anything at Duke for me, and though we read and re-read the entire protocol that I eventually enrolled in, I went to bed wondering why we weren’t just driving back to Virginia. ”If I’m not going to do anything down here, why are we going to go to the consultation tomorrow?,” I asked, hoping at the time that the answer would be “you’re right, let’s get out of here.” Jessie wanted to stay however, as did my Dad, who was frustrated like I was, but for different reasons. He had expected Duke to be like Oz, where the wonderful wizard Friedman would give us all the answers. Without answers, and perhaps just because the hotel rooms were already paid for (I’m kidding, somewhat), we stayed anyway. I’ll detail tomorrow how and why my mind was changed.